Moleman's Epic Rap Battles 30: Eds Vs Warners
by MolemanNineThousand
Summary: VIDEO: /watch?v Ue7AC-slLO0 (Alternate title: Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy Vs. Animaniacs) In the first completely teamwork-based installment of Moleman's Epic Rap Battles, the darkness and intensity of the previous several battles is taken a break from to instead focus on some classic cartoon antics from two of the greatest 'toon programs ever to hit the small screen.


**VIDEO HERE: ** watch?v=Ue7AC-slLO0

* * *

**MOLEMAN'S EPIC RAP BATTLES!**

**ED…**

**…EDD…**

**…AND EDDY…**

**…VS…**

**…YAKKO…**

**…WAKKO…**

**…AND DOT!**

**BEGIN!**

**The Eds:**

**Eddy:** Coming straight at you live from Peach Creek, it's the scammers with the most…

**Ed:** …Laying lyrics down on Termite Terrace twerps like butter on my toast.

**Edd:** To mess with Cartoon Network's golden boys, you're nutty as old Slappy!

**Eds:** Unlike our Big Picture Show, your effort's ending won't be happy!

**Eddy:**

Call me Brother Eddy Grunt, 'cause things are getting extra-ugly:

We'll be knocking out your lights; best say goodnight to everybody!

Get you quaking like some 1994 Northridge debacle;

Hard-set on you as the Kankers on their ship inside a bottle!

**Edd:**

Double D's no mumbler on the mic; I'm practiced to perfection:

Drop you faster than a Lackadaisycathro infection!

In contrast to what's beneath my hat, our win will be no shock;

My home's a mess compared to how completely I'll clean all your clocks!

**Ed:**

I needn't channel any viking to slay these three little creeps;

I put away more snacks than Wakko's appetite while I'm asleep!

Didn't bring my monster suit, but still my disposition will be beastly,

As I beat the living gravy out these runts of unclear species!

**Edd:** Unlike hippos, if you'd cross us, you _belong_ on the endangered list!

**Eddy:** You roaches are pathetic as those loser Urban Ranger kids.

**Ed:** The water tower couldn't succeed at keeping you impounded,

But I'll dig a hole and leave the Warners six-feet-under-grounded!

**The Warners:**

**Wakko:** Good Idea…

**Dot:** Yo, take a sticky note of this:

**Yakko:** Roll back your neon tongues inside your empty skulls and call it quits!

**Wakko:** Bad Idea…

**Yakko:** Step to Spielberg's favored animation legends?

**Warners:** Like the street you call your home, it's only leading to a dead end!

**Yakko:**

You'll tear out what little hair you have before this gig is over,

For we'll cause you more vexation than a pebble in your loafers.

You're hard-pressed to land a single quarter safely in your wallet;

If ol' Ponzi's the con-art Picasso, you're the Jackson Pollocks.

**Wakko:**

Think of Wakko's wacky words as like an anvil to the noggin:

When they drop, they'll bring more hurting than a triple-sneaker flogging!

I've got swiggy-swag aplenty and a bag full of surprises,

But your style is as paper-thin as Chicken Boo's disguises!

**Dot:**

In this corner: Warner sister with a poem to recite;

Wouldn't service Prince, but I'll lay more than fingers on you when we fight!

You haven't misaddressed me once, but still I'll send you to your maker:

Your big bro's abuse was tame next to my literal jaw-breaker!

**Yakko:** We teach history and geography at no expense of fun.

**Dot:** When you attempt to learn, you butcher space and time and eat the sun!

**Wakko:** Here's our half-cents for you half-wits if to defeat us is your mission:

Even wishing on a star could never bring that to fruition!

**The Eds:**

**Eddy:** And the sound of no one caring echoed through the neighborhood!

**Ed:** I bet you'd get along with Johnny, 'cause you're dumb as hunks of wood.

**Edd:** Although your naughty humor's subtle, your hypocrisy is blatant:

Your nitpicking disses sound like Get-a-Life Foundation's patients!

**Eddy:** We'll go Canada-cowpoke on you, and this time we won't miss!

**Ed:** Leave you more desperate for relief than when Ringo here needs to piss!

**Edd:** The Dodgeball mishap hit me hard, but we'll knock you clean off the court!

**Eddy:** …Then unforgivingly insert _electric_ eels inside your shorts!

**The Warners:**

**Yakko:** You lumpen dorks are full of nonsense as your stupid limbo theory is!

**Dot:** Let's blow the roof clean off this joint like Katie on her period!

**Wakko:** Go make like your old friend Jib, and hightail it on some bus…

**Yakko:** …'Cause they may still be making dickies, but not 'toons as dope as us!

**Wakko:** Our words will haunt you like the ringing of a cursed telephone.

**Dot:** How can you scare us, when your own girlfriends send shivers through your bones?

**Yakko:** Our show's _The Godfather_ of cartoons!

**Wakko:** Yours is for the birds, you bumblers.

**Dot:** What's your theme of whistles next to any one of Rita's numbers?

**The Eds:**

**Eddy:** Man, we'll cut you down to size worse than your slutty Mink's filmography!

**Edd:** You couldn't even beat us with reverse-reverse-psychology!

**Ed:** You'll need a nurse for real!

**Edd:** Can't beat us _anywhere_, you bastards!

**Eddy:** Even Rolf's homeland of Yeshmiyek and fish-balls ain't that backwards.

**Edd:** It's your final Mis-Edventure if you keep your current course.

**Ed:** We're making this the most brutality-filled song since "That's My Horse"!

**Eddy:** Even against our geriatric selves, you wouldn't last for long.

**Eds:** We'll tear you new anuses as redress for Yakko's planets song!

**The Warners:**

**Yakko:** It's time to turn the wheel and teach a lesson; moral number four:

**Wakko:** Just give up hope, and leave through any one of living's many doors.

**Yakko:** Your chance is nonexistent as your background cast; don't try to take us!

**Dot:** You're less likely to succeed than Brain and Pinky's global shakeups.

**Wakko:** Cursed Evil Tim has nothing on the terror we strike when summoned!

**Dot:** Even Mindy ain't as savvy when it comes to pushing Buttons.

**Yakko:** Mr. Mime Time's always back for more, but get this understood:

**Warners:** Just like our old pal Buddy, we'll put you clowns down and out for _good_.

**WHO WON?**

**WHO'S NEXT?**

**I DECIDE!**

**MOLEMAN'S EPIC RAP BATTLES!**


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